Jen's Blog
Outbreaks of Insecurity
Jessica Love posted something on her blog earlier today that really spoke to me. It was about insecurities and her own struggles with a particular insecurity. I think it really said something to me because I never would have guessed it. Often times I think most everyone around me is confident and beautiful and strong, never letting an insecurity getting the better of them. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there are more people out there like me than I think. I struggle with an insecurity, and just when I think I’m getting over it and stomping on its face, something happens that lets it drag me down again.
This is going to be an honest post. One I’m slightly afraid to write because it’s pretty personal to me. Something I don’t like to talk about, but I think it’s refreshing to read these posts, and maybe, just maybe, it can be refreshing to someone out there who goes through or has gone through something like this.
I have bad skin. There, I’ve said it for all the world to see. It’s just a reality of my life. In high school, I told myself it was okay because I’d grow out of it. But I haven’t yet, and I’m way past the age when it should stop being a problem. Sometimes it’s an outbreak all over my forehead. Sometimes it’s a monster spot on my chin that leaves a scar for several months. Sometimes, it’s an outbreak on my shoulder, leaving me opting for long sleeves rather than expose my skin to the world.
I learned to accept it and live with it. Hey, we all have imperfections. I’d go out without makeup sometimes. I’d let my picture be taken when I had a monster spot without trying to cover it up. But then a little over a year ago, someone said something to me, and I snapped.
“Hey, you should put toothpaste on your acne spots. It would really help your bad skin.”
I know this person wasn’t trying to be mean. She was trying to help. But the mere fact someone took notice enough to try to point out a solution (one I’d already tried, I’ve tried everything) made me start wondering if EVERYONE just stared at my skin when they talked to me. If everyone secretly thought, “Man, this girl needs to get her skin sorted out.” I went home and stared at my skin in the mirror. Every single spot glared at me.
I went through a pretty rough period after that. I started thinking about my skin ALL THE TIME. Literally every day. I started trying new skin care regimes, reading gazillions of articles online, trying new diets that were supposed to help, vitamins, medication from the doctor. And you know what happened? My skin got worse. It got on my neck, and it got on my back. It exploded all over my face. So my stress about it got worse. Repeat.
Around this time, I went to England for several months. And proceeded to have skin allergy issues. Beautiful red splotches all over my skin set off due to something or another in England (I still don’t know what). There was about a month there where I felt beyond insecure due to the combination of my regular old pimple issues and this new allergy. I hit a low point. Yeah, it sucked, but deep down, why did I let my insecurity take ahold of me? It was because I let the thought of people’s perception of me become too important. Because I thought people would look at me and think, “Ugly.”
And yet there was a guy I was seeing in England who thought I was beautiful. We got together when my skin was at the worst it has ever been, when I have never felt more unattractive. And while I would love to say I came to some sudden acceptance of all this on my own, it’s just not true. Seeing myself through someone else’s eyes helped. It really did. I started to see me for me, to see that skin really is just on the surface, and as cheesy as it sounds, that what’s inside is what matters.
I realized I needed to stop obsessing about my skin and focus on what is important in my life. Having acne is not the end of the world. Yeah, it’d be nice to have clear skin, but hey, I just have to accept that I don’t. Things could be worse. I am the way I am. Some people will like that, some won’t.
So, I treated the allergy, I stopped going on weird diets, and I stopped slathering special cleansers and creams on my skin.
And as crazy as this sounds, you want to know what happened when I stopped worrying about my skin? It got better. Not perfect, but much, much better. Some days I still break out, and some days I look at it in the mirror and cringe. But then I move on. Am I cured of my insecurity? No, I don’t think so. I’m sure I’ll have to deal with it again at some point. The important thing is, I think I’ve learned how not to let it consume me. Having some characteristic about yourself that someone might point at, laugh at or talk behind your back about isn’t what is dangerous. It’s letting your insecurity of that happening cripple you. In other words, don’t let the critics get you down, and especially don’t let the possibility of critics get you down.
Doctor Who Obsession
The TEN Cover Reveal Scavenger Hunt!
So, here we are in the middle of the great TEN (by Gretchen McNeil) Cover Reveal Scavenger Hunt! In case you’re just tuning in now, here’s a quick recap of the scavenger hunt. Each of the ten days, a new clue is revealed on a new blog. Follow the trail to gather all the clues, leading to the final cover reveal on February 24th…and also giving everyone the chance to win a fabulous prize.
What’s TEN about?
And their doom comes swiftly.
It was supposed to be the weekend of their lives – three days on Henry Island at an exclusive house party. Best friends Meg and Minnie each have their own reasons for wanting to be there, both of which involve Kamiak High’s most eligible bachelor, T.J. Fletcher. But what starts out as a fun-filled weekend turns dark and twisted after the discovery of a DVD with a sinister message: Vengeance is mine.
Suddenly, people are dying and the teens are cut off from the outside world. No electricity, no phones, no internet, and a ferry that isn’t scheduled to return for two days. As the deaths become more violent and the teens turn on each other, can Meg find the killer before more people die? Or is the killer closer to her than she could ever imagine?
What’s the clue?
Where to go next?
Tomorrow, the next clue will be revealed from Lauren at 365 Days of Reading! (And if you missed the beginning, go check out Gretchen’s blog for the first clue.) You can also add TEN on Goodreads by clicking here.
What’s the PRIZE?
This is a pretty awesome prize, guys. The winner will receive a signed and annotated copy of the unbound galley of TEN! This will be one-of-a-kind and out even before the ARC. Seriously, I want this.
And there you go. That’s your clue for Saturday, February 18th. Good luck!
Gretchen McNeil is an opera singer, writer and clown. Her YA horror/paranormal POSSESS debuted with Balzer + Bray for HarperCollins in 2011. Her second novel, TEN – YA horror/suspense about ten teens trapped on a remote island with a serial killer – will be released September 18, 2012. Gretchen is a former coloratura soprano, the voice of Mary on G4’s Code Monkeys and she currently sings with the LA-based circus troupe Cirque Berzerk. Gretchen is also a founding member of the vlog group YARebels where she can be seen as “Monday.”Bookanistas: Shout-Out to the Classics
Hey guys! For the past several weeks, I’ve been doing reviews of new YA and MG releases, and it got me thinking of older books that I truly love and that have really been instrumental in getting us to where we are today, a point in time with so many great YA books on the shelves.
Specifically, I was thinking about Madeleine L’Engle. Her Time Quintet books are just amazing. Guys, seriously, if you haven’t read these books, run to a library or bookstore and read them ASAP. If you have read them, then you know what I mean, and I don’t know about you, but they are the perfect books to reread. They are classic and timeless. They’re inspiring, at least to me. They make you really think. I seriously don’t think I can put into words how much I love them. They are right on up there with Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Hunger Games and Uglies — books that have made an incredible impact on me and have truly changed my life.
In case you do not know what these books are about, here is a brief description of the first in the series:
Everyone in town thinks Meg Murry is volatile and dull-witted, and that her younger brother, Charles Wallace, is dumb. People are also saying that their physicist father has run off and left their brilliant scientist mother. Spurred on by these rumours and an unearthly stranger, the tesseract- touting Mrs Whatsit, Meg and Charles Wallace and their new friend Calvin O’Keefe embark on a perilous quest through space to find their father. In doing so, they must travel behind the shadow of an evil power that is darkening the cosmos, one planet at a time. This is no superhero tale, nor is it science fiction, although it shares elements of both. The travellers must rely on their individual and collective strengths, delving deep within themselves to find answers.
Ahhh, just reading that description makes me want to read them again.
Sadly, back in 2007 Madeleine L’Engle passed away. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to attend her memorial service in NYC. It was truly one of the most memorable experiences of my life, and truly touching. This woman loved to write, and she loved writing for children and teens. Not only did she write and create compelling and beautifully-written books, but she was also a remarkable person.
I love this quote by her:
“Our truest responsibility to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find the truth.”
More Bookanistas Posts This Week
Christine Fonseca surrenders to THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL
Corrine Jackson delights in CHOPSTICKS
Stasia Ward Kehoe presents a Stunning Seconds interview with A MILLION SUNS author Beth Revis
Debra Driza celebrates CINDER – with giveaway!
Katy Upperman raves over JELLICOE ROAD
Hilary Wagner is all about LEXAPROS AND CONS – with giveaway
Carolina Valdez Miller reveals the tremendous cover of TEN
Jessica Love has high ratings for THE STATISTICAL PROBABILITY OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
SEAGULL ATTACK!
Bookanistas: THE NIGHT SHE DISAPPEARED
The Night She Disappeared by April Henry
Gabie drives a Mini Cooper. She also works part time as a delivery girl at Pete’s Pizza. One night, Kayla—another delivery girl—goes missing. To her horror, Gabie learns that the supposed kidnapper had asked if the girl in the Mini Cooper was working that night. Gabie can’t move beyond the fact that Kayla’s fate was really meant for her, and she becomes obsessed with finding Kayla. She teams up with Drew, who also works at Pete’s. Together, they set out to prove that Kayla isn’t dead—and to find her before she is.
I haven’t read many straight-on mysteries or thrillers in awhile (meaning without some sort of sci-fi or paranormal element), and I was really happy to get my hands on this one as my reading roots are very much Nancy Drew. What I really loved about this book was that it took a different approach to the classic mystery format. For one, the author included all of these interesting extra bits, like forensics reports and transcripts of 911 calls. I loved turning the page and seeing a new, fun piece of the case. I also really loved the shift in point of view. Each person had such a unique voice and a different way of viewing what was happening.
All this made this particular mystery/thriller different than the same old. Really, it took the shift off of the whodunit and put more focus on just being inside of the case, how it all unfolded, how people reacted, how people felt. More a focus on character, and I really loved that here.
And then the ending. An exciting, riveting finale to the story. I had meant to put the book down and go to sleep, but I literally could not stop reading.
More Bookanistas Posts This Week
Christine Fonseca takes a shine to A MILLION SUNS
Carolina Valdez Miller falls for FRACTURE
Stasia Ward Kehoe is dazzled by DARK COMPANION
Nikki Katz wonders at THE FAULT IN OUR STARS
Debra Driza is overwhelmed by UNDER THE NEVER SKY
Jessica Love gives a trophy to BEAUTY QUEENS
Shelli Johannes-Wells takes you on a tour of The Reading Room
Tracy Banghart has double-love for THE SILVER PHOENIX and FURY OF THE PHOENIX
Hilary Wagner is in the grips of THE GATHERING STORM
A Day in the Life of…
I’ve seen several “a day in the life of” posts in the past couple weeks, so hey, I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon, though after typing all this out, all I can think is this sounds super boring. This is what yesterday entailed, since it’s fresh on my mind, but to be honest, my day’s are pretty varying due to my student schedule. Some days I don’t have lectures (Mondays and Fridays) so I sleep in later and stay up later. Some days I get to write or revise more. Last week, my social life was pretty hectic: Articulate game night, Comedy Night at the Student Union, Superbowl. This week, it’s quiet because I have lots of work to do. Anyway, here it is in all it’s boring glory.
A Day in the Life of a Postgrad Student, Freelance Writer and Aspiring YA Writer:
7:30 am: Woke up, growled at alarm at at myself for staying up until 2am the night before, checked email, brewed coffee.
8 am: Researched and read about collection development policies for one of the day’s lectures.
9:30 am: Showered, dressed, tried to tame hair, made sandwich for lunch, bundled up for the cold.
10:30 am: Headed to the library to return a book on information retrieval I’d checked out of the Short Loan Collection the night before, walked to class.
11 am: Went to lecture on library collections, professor asked us what we’d found in our self-guided research.
12 pm: Ate my packed lunch out on the lawn in the sunshine, was cold but enjoyed my view of the Welsh countryside.
12:30 pm: Headed inside the library, got out my laptop and worked on a freelance writing project on festivals.
1:30 pm: Checked out a couple books for an upcoming assignment.
2 pm: Went to lecture on school libraries, got handed a YA book to read as homework.
3 pm: Headed back to my room.
3:30 pm: Checked email, twitter, facebook, etc. Relaxed a bit. Got distracted by internet stuff.
4:30 pm: Got back to work on my festival writing freelance project, finished it and sent it in.
6 pm: Put massive pile of laundry in the wash, tidied desk, chatted with friends online, read through assignment criteria for all my modules, entered due dates in calendar, organized papers.
7 pm: Thought about going to the university cafeteria but realized it closed at 7pm. Had leftover pasta for dinner instead.
8 pm: Opened up my manuscript document and worked on revisions, wasn’t happy with my progress.
9 pm: Got out my library books, cracked open one on social research methods, started reading, made notes.
10 pm: Felt like I had no brainpower left so curled up with my e-reader in bed.
11 pm: Set alarm for the next morning’s lecture.
Bookanistas: WANDERLOVE
It all begins with a stupid question:
Are you a Global Vagabond?
No, but 18-year-old Bria Sandoval wants to be. In a quest for independence, her neglected art, and no-strings-attached hookups, she signs up for a guided tour of Central America—the wrong one. Middle-aged tourists with fanny packs are hardly the key to self-rediscovery. When Bria meets Rowan, devoted backpacker and dive instructor, and his outspokenly humanitarian sister Starling, she seizes the chance to ditch her group and join them off the beaten path.
Bria’s a good girl trying to go bad. Rowan’s a bad boy trying to stay good. As they travel across a panorama of Mayan villages, remote Belizean islands, and hostels plagued with jungle beasties, they discover what they’ve got in common: both seek to leave behind the old versions of themselves. And the secret to escaping the past, Rowan’s found, is to keep moving forward.
But Bria comes to realize she can’t run forever, no matter what Rowan says. If she ever wants the courage to fall for someone worthwhile, she has to start looking back.
This book was made for me. I’ve been dying to read it for quite some time because travel is very close to my heart, and while I’ve never backpacked, I’ve always wanted to. Desperately, really. So, I cracked this open with high hopes. And oh my goodness, did it grab ahold of my heart.
I love Bria. She is fantastic. She is the perfect mixture of hope and insecurity and strength. And the intensity of her character arc is magnified because, really, that’s what travel does to you. It shows you the world in new ways, changes you, forces you to grow. It is life-changing. Bria overcomes so much and enhances who she is over the course of this three-week trip, and I felt as if I were right there with her. All of this told against the backdrop of beautifully-described Central America. A place that was honestly not on my radar before, but now I must see. Must. The writing is so strong that every single location Bria visited was incredibly vivid in my mind. I really felt like I was there, and I fell in love with a place I’ve never been. That’s a magical reading experience.
Bottom line: this is a beautiful book. It has affected me to the point that I was madly researching European backpacking destinations last night. For hours. It’s like I’ve been bit by the travel bug all over again, and for that alone, this is a novel I’ll be reading again and again.
More Bookanistas Posts This Week
Christine Fonseca interviews author Denise Grover Swank
Jessi Kirby is wowed by WANDERLOVE
Corrine Jackson is mesmerized by MAY B.
Stasia Ward Kehoe interviews DIES IRAE author Christine Fonseca
Debra Driza is entranced by HEMLOCK
Katy Upperman delves into THE DISENCHANTMENTS
Nikki Katz celebrates CINDER
Tracy Banghart marvels at JULIET IMMORTAL
Jessica Love spotlights SHINE
Bookanistas: THE GIRL WHO OWNED A CITY
The Girl Who Owned a City, the graphic novel, adapted by Dan Jolley and illustrated by Joelle Jones and Jenn Manley Lee, based on the novel by O.T. Nelson first published in 1975.
A deadly virus killed every adult on Earth, leaving only us kids behind. My parents are gone, so I’m responsible for my little brother, Todd. I have to make sure we stay alive. Many kids are sick or starving, and fierce gangs are stealing and destroying everything they find. Lots of people have given up, but here on Grand Avenue, some of us are surviving. Because of me.
I figured out how to give the kids on Grand Avenue food, homes, and protection against the gangs. But Tom Logan and his army are determined to take away what we’ve built and rule the streets themselves. How long can we keep fighting them off? We need to find another place for us to live safely. A strong place. A secret place.
In a world like this, someone has to take charge. But do I have the strength to take charge of a whole city?
I loooove graphic novels so I was excited to read this adaptation of a MG novel originally published back in the 70s. The first thing that struck me is how gorgeous the art is. Very beautifully done, with coloring that really set the tone of the book.
When a virus wipes out the adult population, the kids are left to fend for themselves. And THE GIRL WHO OWNED A CITY is about a tough-as-nails girl who steps in and takes charge when the kids on her street aren’t doing so great. I loved reading about this character because not only is she tough, but she’s smart and quick-on-her-feet, and trying her hardest to improve everyone’s lives…but she’s not perfect either. She makes mistakes and she doesn’t always do things for the right reasons. Flawed characters with room for growth are the best kind to read about.
I also loved reading about how the world worked and how things changed due to the virus. It seems bleak and grim at times, but the characters make the best of their situation, and I loved how they went about setting up their city, seeing how they ran it. There are a lot of dystopian books out there, but this one really stood out to me, especially since it’s both MG and a graphic novel. I’m very tempted to find the original now!
More Bookanistas Posts This Week
Christine Fonseca brings you a special Guestanista review of SPRINKLES AND SECRETS
Shannon Messenger delights in DEAD TO YOU – with giveaway
Beth Revis interviews TEMPEST author Julie Cross – with giveaway
Jessi Kirby takes a shine to the SURRENDER and new POSSESSSION covers
Stasia Ward Kehoe adores IN HONOR
Veronica Rossi is crazy for INCARNATE
Nikki Katz marvels at A MILLION SUNS
Gennifer Albin is on fire over CINDER
Tracy Banghart is all about THE OTHER LIFE
Jessica Love wonders at THE FAULT IN OUR STARS
Hilary Wagner mourns over THE DEATH OF YORIK MORTWELL — with giveaway
Write 1, Sub 1
So, I’ve been talking about short stories lately. It’s something I’ve really gotten into during the past six months or so. When I first started last year, I found this challenge called Write 1, Sub 1. Basically, you either challenge yourself to both write and submit a short story every week, or every month. I was intrigued by this because I like challenges, and I like anything that gets me to really hone my craft.
Since it’s the start of a new year, I decided to join the challenge. Not the weekly version, that’s a bit too much for me at this point in time. I don’t see how I could possibly write a short story every week for a year without sacrificing my novel writing. Instead, I’m doing the monthly version. Write and submit one short story every month. It combines both my desire to improve my short story writing and get more stories out there circulating.
I’ve already made the challenge for January as last week I wrote a new flash fiction piece, polished it up and sent it out.
The creators of this challenge were inspired by Ray Bradbury and how he used to go about writing and submitting his own stories. He’s someone to aspire to, that’s for sure, with over 400 short stories published. Plus, some of the best science fiction novels ever written.