New Idea & A Teaser
I wasn’t going to do a Teaser Tuesday again this week until…well, until I started a new manuscript. Why yes, I now have three projects in the works. On Saturday, this new idea just took hold of me and didn’t let go. I am SUPER EXCITED. I haven’t felt this excited about writing for months. It feels a lot like the day I got the idea for MY SO CALLED AFTERLIFE. So, I gave in to it, wrote the most detailed outline I’ve ever written for a manuscript and am up to 5k in the first draft.
I seriously thought about sticking to the revision of CLASH, but right now, until I (hopefully) get a deal, I don’t have any real deadlines so I’m just going to go with the love right now. I know a lot of people think it’s a bad idea to stop in the middle of a project for a new idea. And usually I’d agree. I’ve completed three novels now without going off on a new idea tangent, but this time, the idea just won’t get out of my head. So, I’m writing it.
So, today’s teaser is a little snippet from the first chapter of what I’m calling BONE DRY, another YA urban fantasy. It’s a “quiet” scene and the voice is more matter-of-fact than my other manuscripts which has been a different experience. This character has had to grow up fast, and the magic in her world is pretty dark and dangerous stuff. I don’t go into that here, but we do see the result of some of that magic in this scene.
Friday Five| STRANGE ANGELS In Stores! » »“Hi, Mom.” I slumped into the faded blue recliner across from her. Astral leapt onto my lap and meowed a hello to both of us.
Mom blinked a few times, coming back into herself. I glanced away from the dark, blue pillows of skin under her eyes and stared at the mantel over the fireplace packed with her favorite ceremonial masks from Europe.
“Hi Holly. How was school?” she asked, her mouth turning up into a wobbly smile. It was a dimmed version of the one she used to have, and I struggled to keep my face from showing how much it hurt me to see her like this.
“It was okay,” I said. “Got some groceries just now. The usual stuff. Ramen and potatoes.” I tried to sound lighthearted, like it was a running joke between us, but my voice came out flat.
“I am so sorry, Holly.”
Her eyes caught mine, and I could see the guilt hiding behind her smile. It wasn’t her fault though. She hadn’t done this to herself. And then those brilliant hazel eyes dimmed for a moment and lost focus on the real world—the world I was a part of, the world I wanted my mom to stay in. Permanently. Not in short five minutes bursts scattered throughout the day. But I knew I had maybe a minute—tops—before she was gone again.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “It’s not your fault. Besides, you know how much I love home fries.”
“How was school?” she asked again, reaching over to grip my hand. The knitting needles tumbled off her lap. Her face screwed up, wrinkles and shadows etching her skin. She used to be a mirror image of me: stick-straight brown hair that frizzed in humidity, tiny nose, big hazel eyes, pale pink skin that burned in the sun instead of tanned. When they’d still been together, Dad always called her cute. Said she looked the same as the day he met her at eighteen. But now, with the sagging skin under her chin and the lines curving around her mouth and eyes, she just looked withered.
I reached down to grab the knitting needles off the floor and when I returned them to her lap, she was back to gazing out the window. Face blank. No sign of my mom in those distant eyes. A tear slid down my cheek, and I brushed it aside.
“School was fine, Mom,” I said to her, because I knew she could hear me even if she wasn’t completely here. “Still not a lot of homework yet, but I have a quiz tomorrow. And everything else is fine.” I slumped lower in my chair. “Just fine.”
Comments
Fabulous. I can see why you were itching to get this on paper, as it were.
I like how you’ve got it across, without telling, how poor they are (potatoes and ramen). I really want to know what’s up. Great start and I’m glad you decided to run with it!
I really like this.
Sometimes, you just need a breather. And you’ll be energized because of it.
Maybe in the process of BONE DRY you’ll find what you need for your other WIPS.
Nice, Jen. You have my brain going. Is the mom in the paranormal world or Alzheimers? Curiouser and curiouser. I think I’m bitten by a similar writing bug, finally.
xo
That’s a distressing idea, living with an empty vessel of a person. I can see why you’ve got it on the brain. I did wonder, though, about dropping the needles. Bone ones tend to be quite fragile and can shatter when dropped on a hard surface.
Awesome. You really managed to nail down Holly immediately. I don’t need to know what’s wrong with mom (yet, I’m guessing) or where dad is, but I have an immediate picture of who Holly is and how she’s barely managing to hold it all together. AND you did it in less than 250 words. Fantastic.
This is awesome. It really choked me up…I want to know more, but I’m not sure I could handle it.
Please, keep going with this.
Very nice. The matter-of-fact voice is spare without being at all dry: it lets your MC’s feelings shine through clearly without any telling. Not easy to do, and definitely well done here.
Ooo this is heavy. Excellent excerpt!
Okay, I’m trying to comment again–didn’t work the first time. In short, I said I was really intrigued by what might be going on with them, and want to find out more.
Really liked the dynamic between the two characters - the way the MC is sort of assuming the mother’s role and “taking care of everything”. The understated feel works really well.
By the way, love the more “matter-of-fact” voice. Very different from the other stuff you’ve posted.
I find this interesting and I wondering what is going on with the mother. There is a good voice here and I hope to read more.
Oh God, heartbreaking! Brilliantly done. Want to know more! Definitely keep working on this… xx
I love it when a new idea grabs me. This is an excellent start. Keep up the good words. The other stories aren’t going anywhere, and you can get back to them once you’ve written this out of your head. =o)
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